This week is a big one: I leave Samoa in 100 days! On a Facebook status about this topic, I wrote that I don’t know if I should jump for joy for burst into tears; I have mixed emotions about having such a short amount of time left.
It seems like only yesterday it was 100 days until I was going home for Christmas. Now, one year later, it is 100 days until I leave Samoa. A few weeks ago I dreamt that I was back in America, and in my dream I realized that I’m not going back to Samoa; my two years as a PCV was over and I was genuinely sad. When I woke, it hit me that I’m really leaving and I was overcome with a sense of grief. Samoa has been a struggle for me (my biggest issues are the lack of privacy, sexual harassment, humidity, and transportation), but looking past these difficulties, I’m sad about leaving a country that is full of people I’ve grown to love. I’ve met and made friends with people from all over the world and if it wasn’t for Samoa, most likely they wouldn’t have came into my life. Samoa will always be here, but it’s the people who won’t be—friends, no… family, will no longer be a part of my everyday life, and that’s what saddens me. This sense of loss doesn’t help the homesickness I’ve been feeling lately. It’s interesting how I’m sad about leaving, yet am yearning for home. I suppose these clash of feelings are normal.
This past week I’ve been extremely homesick. It all boils down to the fact that I’m not able to communicate with my family and friends; the people I talk with on a daily basis. The reason I haven’t talked with them is because my phone was stolen in Apia two weeks ago. At first I thought I lost it; I had it one minute and then the next it was gone. I honestly don’t know what happened to it, and instead of accusing someone of taking it, I went ahead with the notion that I lost it. My phone is a dual sim, so the other day I called the number that I hadn’t deactivated. To my surprise, it rang and a guy answered. I was so excited and told him, “Hi! You have my phone!” The next thing I heard was a click and the phone was shut off and/or the sim card was taken out. I was so upset and sent him a long text message about how he has my phone and God is watching (whenever God is mentioned, the Samoan in question usually feels shame). A PCV in my group also sent him a similar text message written entirely in Samoan. The voice message goes on instantly, so I doubt the guy read the messages. Like I’ve mentioned, I didn’t want to accuse anyone of taking my phone, but now I know someone has it. Maybe he found my phone, but now he’s aware that I’m looking for it. Instead of giving it back, he hung on me and kept it, which is stealing. While I know phones are stolen throughout the world, I’ve never been a victim of theft until I came to this country. The first instance happened last year when a guy stole a handful of my money, before my very eyes, and claimed that it was his (you can read about the occurrence here), and now this phone incidence. It’s all very frustrating and disheartening because I’ve given two years of my life to be here, and I feel taken advantage of. I’m trying to remember something that my mother said, which is not to dwell on my phone because it will get me upset and there’s nothing I can do about it. She’s right. I’m in charge of my emotions, so I choose to let this go because I don’t want to be angry with Samoa right before it’s time for me to leave. Plus, it isn’t the end of the world. The stolen phone has a horrible battery life, so I needed a new one anyway. I ordered a replacement phone from Amazon.com and it will be in my hands in two weeks. Also, another positive is that I’m using a basic phone that can only call and text, so I’m saving a lot of money on data. And finally, not having an internet capable phone is forcing me to live in the moment—I’m no longer fixated on my phone. This is a positive because currently I’m on school break.
Yes, that’s right, another school break! My final school break before I’m out of here. Many people have told me that it seems like I’m always on a break and indeed it feels that way. This break is a big one, with four weeks off— three weeks off of school, and a one-week Close-of-Service (COS) conference with the Peace Corps. So what’s on the agenda this term break? So far I’ve spent a weekend at my favorite beach in Samoa: Lalomanu Beach. My friend Michelle celebrated her birthday at Taufua Beach Fales so it was a perfect start to the break. This week was spent sleeping, working out, and TV show watching. I finished the Sopranos (and am disappointed with the ending) and started (and finished) season 3 of New Girl. Also, I’ve spent some time cleaning and packing up my bedroom. In my last blog post I’ve mentioned that I’m going to American Samoa to ship a suitcase home. While I’m not leaving Samoa for 100 days, I’m going to American Samoa in two weeks, so this means that it is time to start packing up the things I don’t want to leave behind. Also, I’ve started working on a Peace Corps Samoa Cribs video, where I’m giving a tour of my house and village. It will be uploaded to YouTube and this blog in the coming weeks. The rest of my school break will consist of playing tourist on Savai’i and Upolu, traveling to places I’ve never been, as well as going to places for the final time. I’ll blog about it mid-September and will upload photos from this break and the previous one.
Overall, I am sad about leaving Samoa, but my time here is finished. I’ve given my all to a country I’ve called home for two years. These next 100 days will be spent soaking up the breathtaking scenery and enjoying the presence of those I love and will miss dearly.
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| Throwing away heaps of stuff |
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| I put my belongins into three piles: shipping home, taking with me on my trips, and leaving in Samoa |
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| Well, I'm all packed and ready to leave Samoa... 100 days in advance! |
