I arrived in
Samoa a year ago today. The fact that it’s been 12-months since I’ve seen my
family and closest friends, the people who are most important to me, is
mind-boggling. The fact that I’ve lived in a foreign country, a tiny country in the middle of the South
Pacific Ocean, for 12-months is mind-boggling. But indeed, it’s been 12-months
since I stepped out of the plane at Faleolo Airport and stepped into my new
life as Peace Corps Volunteer.
The past 12
months have easily been the best thing I’ve ever done because I see myself
changing for the better. I’m evolving into a person who doesn’t need much to
get by and am appreciative of the things I do have. Sure I complain from time
to time (frequent readers of this blog know that), but living in Samoa over the
past year has taught me one thing; a very valuable thing: It could always be
worse. For example, my first
shower experience in Samoa was pure torture. It felt like I was skinny-dipping
in Antarctica, and my only reaction was to scream obscenities. I was so loud
that my roommate Michelle could hear me. This is something we laugh about
today, but at the time I was not a happy camper. From that moment on, freezing
cold showers have been a part of my daily routine, and I’ve adapted. In the
mornings, the showers are usually freezing (I no longer feel the need to
scream), but in the afternoons, when I’m dripping in sweat, the cold water
feels amazing. Don’t get me wrong, I still love hot water showers, and am in
heaven when I’m somewhere that has hot water, such as Apia hotels and the Peace
Corps office, but I’ve learned to live without hot water. So how could my
shower situation be worse? I could be living in a home that doesn’t have
running water. When I first moved into my new village, the water supply was
shut off for nearly the entire village, except for the pastor’s house, my
neighbor’s house, and my host family’s house. The reason why the water was shut
off is because of unpaid water bills. I’ve never realized how precious water is
until I moved to Samoa, when I experienced life without running water during
Cyclone Evan and the aftermath, or when the primary school I teach at didn’t
have water for a couple of weeks, or when I see my neighbors carrying buckets
of water. I came into the Peace Corps with the expectation that I wouldn’t have
running water, but I do have running water, which is a blessing.
Electricity is
another amenity I took for granted before Samoa. For as long as I can remember,
my father would always tell my sisters and me to “conserve energy.” I know, it
seems simple: if you’re leaving a room, then turn off the lights, but living
every single day of my life with electricity resulted in taking advantage of it
because I knew I would always have it. Even when I was living on my own in
college, and had to pay my electric bill, I still took electricity for granted.
Living in Samoa changed that. Once again, Cyclone Evan was the first time in my
life where I didn’t have electricity for a long period of time. Since then,
there have been times that the electricity has shut off for several hours, or
the cash power (pre-paid electricity) runs out, and at that moment I hold my
breath thinking, “Oh goodness, I wonder when the power will turn on? Is my
phone battery charged? Etc.” So how could this be worse? Instead of going hours
without electricity from time-to-time, my daily life could be without
electricity, in which I would have to rely on the light from the sun or from a
candle. Once again, I came into Peace Corps with the expectation that I
wouldn’t have electricity, but I do have electricity, which is another
blessing. It’s a blessing because I’m able to plug in my electric fan and cool
down, I can use my bedroom light to stay up late at night reading or writing, and
most importantly, having electricity enables me to charge my electronics. This means
I can communicate with the outside world AND watch unlimited amounts of movies
and TV series on my laptop! This alone makes me feel like the luckiest PCV in
the world.
What else have I
learned over the past year?
*Living in Samoa
has made me realize that Americans are spoiled. Don’t get me wrong,
being spoiled isn’t necessarily a bad thing, nor does it mean that people are
bad. But from an outsider looking in (mostly through Facebook), Americans have
so much, some may even say too much, yet don’t always appreciate it and can
find the smallest things to complain about.
.tiff) |
| A perfect, hilarious example of how complaints sound to PCVs |
When I was
living in America, I was guilty of this, and like I’ve mentioned above, I do
complain from time to time, but I hope to break this over the second half of my
Peace Corps service. One thing is certain:
When I move back to America, I will NEVER complain about having to do
laundry. Ever. The washing machine and drying machine are two of the greatest
inventions of all time. I look forward to the day when washing laundry consists
of opening the washing machine lid, adding soap and fabric softener, putting my
clothes inside, and letting the machine do all the work. And then there’s a
drying machine that will dry my clothes in less than an hour, leaving them
mold-free! Oh the glory! But until then, I will spend the next year of my life
bucket washing my clothes and hanging them out to dry, taking about 1.5-2 hours
out my day, in addition to taking several hours, if not days, to dry.
*I’m not here
to change Samoans. I think a lot of people join the Peace Corps with ideals
that they are going to change the world and change their host country
nationals’ lives and/or ways of living. I’ve realized that Samoans are happy
people (they’ll laugh your ears off) and are content with their living
conditions. They’re not dying from malaria or starvation. In fact, they have an
abundant supply of taro (similar to a potato), bananas, mangoes, papaya, carrots,
tomatoes, cucumbers, coconuts, and are excellent fishermen.
I’ve learned
that many Samoans concentrate only on the present time. My neighbors are the
perfect example of this. They sell donuts, delicious donuts I must add, for
bingo on Thursday nights. Every Thursday I ask my host sister Eseta if there
will be donuts for sale. On several occasions she has told me: “No, the family
didn’t have money to buy the flour.” Other times I hear that the family didn’t
have money for sugar. In my mind I’m thinking, “Okay, why didn’t they put away
$20WST (or whatever the cost may be) of their earnings from last week so that
they can buy the ingredients needed, which will result in a profit to be made?”
This goes back to my point being that many Samoans live for today, and only today.
To the average American, this may be frustrating. I’m starting to see it as a
beautiful thing, relating it to the old proverb: Why worry about tomorrow? For tomorrow may never come. Americans
stress out when they think about the future; often times looking past the
present moment they’re in. I realize that living day-by-day won’t be realistic
once I return to America, but I’ll remember to take time and enjoy the present
moment. And I apologize if I’ve offended anyone. That’s not my intention. I’m
not saying that living day-by-day is a bad thing. Also, I’m not generalizing
all Samoans as this way, but as an outsider looking into village-life, it’s how
I’ve observed a majority of the villagers. Like I’ve mentioned above, I think
it’s great that Samoans live in the present.
So you may be
wondering: If you’re not there to change
Samoans, then why are you there? Good question. I’m here for my students.
In the short time I’ve worked with them, I’ve seen a vast improvement in their
English education. In addition to their academia, I’m in Samoa to be a positive
influence in my students’ lives. I want to be a safe haven for them. I want to
be someone who they can laugh with (and many times at), and feel comfortable to
be around. The children are the future of this country, and if I can make a
difference in at least one child, then my purpose is complete.
*This life
isn’t forever. One of my first blogs in this country is titled “One Week Down, Only 114 to Go!” I wrote it to be humorous because come on, 114 weeks seems
like an eternity away. But it isn’t. Before I know it, I’ll be back in America,
probably missing the simple Samoan life.
Life in Samoa
isn’t bad. By American standards, I’m living below the poverty level. I didn’t
join the Peace Corps to live in luxury or become rich, but I’m fine with my
living conditions and the monthly allowance I earn. I can shower daily, and I
make more than enough money to buy myself food, buy my host family food, pay
for my phone and internet, and go out in Apia or to resorts. Plus I have no
bills and no responsibilities! I don’t have to pay rent and Peace Corps pays
for my electricity. Yes, the la-la-land that I’m in will end eventually, and
I’ll be thrown back into the real world, with real bills. But until then, I’m
going to enjoy my time here.
During PST, we
were given a chart titled the “Cycle of Vulnerability and Adjustment.” It talks
about the emotional state of PCVs during their two years of service. According
to the chart, right now I’m in what is called the “Mid-Service Crisis,” which
is a low point in a volunteer’s service. This low is supposed to happen between
12-14 months of service. Madi, a fellow PCV, and I were talking about this, and
we aren’t feeling low at all. Yes, we still have two months in this “low” category,
but honestly I don’t think I’m going to feel the mid-service blues. Why?
Because like I wrote above, this life
isn’t forever. So instead of complaining about everything that is bad about
this country, I’ve learned to enjoy it because my island-life will be over next
year. And also, I’m here because I want to be. No one is forcing me to be here.
In fact, I fought to be here when I thought I was going to get sent back to
America. Maybe that’s why I’m not experiencing a mid-service crisis because
Samoa is where I want to be. I miss America terribly, and miss my family and
friends even more, but America and my family and friends will be there next
year. Samoa is a once in a lifetime experience, and after next year, who knows
when I’ll return, if ever. So right now, Samoa is my focus.
*I’ve made
life-long friends. I didn’t join the Peace Corps to make friends, but
somewhere over the year I’ve been here, I’ve created bonds with people that
will last a lifetime. Madi and I are already talking about taking a COS (Close
of Service) trip together around SE Asia, or taking a Round the World trip I’ve
mentioned in a previous blog, and bringing in New Year’s 2015 together in Las
Vegas. There have been talks of my group, Group 84, meeting up in Southern
California for Coachella 2015. It’s funny to think that we still have a year to make memories together, yet we’re already talking about making memories
after Samoa. I know, I know, it contradicts what I wrote above, about
living in the present. Believe me, I am living in the present, but—planning
for the future is nice, too, especially when it’s for leisure. When I was in
Savai’i last week, Madi and I were talking about how hard it is to tell people
goodbye. She referred to it as “closing a chapter.” Thinking about having to
tell my goodbyes to those I care about in this country got me extremely sad,
and made me tear up. I know it’s silly because I still have a year to go, but
that moment verified that these people mean the world to me. I’m happy we get
to share this experience together, over the next year.
My final
thoughts: Samoa is
changing me into a better person. But it’s not changing me into a different person. If you know me
personally, then you know that I love to have fun. And on my spare time, I’m
having a blast here. I think that’s one of the reasons why I’m not experiencing
the volunteer-blues because I do what makes me happy. Don’t get me wrong, there
have been three occasions when I’ve felt extremely homesick. The first time was
during Cyclone Evan, when I was stuck in my hotel room, feeling like I was
condemned for all eternity. The second and third time relate to my unhappy
situation in Savai’i, which resulted in me nearly getting sent back to America.
Those were some of the saddest times in my life. And then there’s the thought
that life hasn’t stopped in America. In the short time I’ve been here, I’ve
missed birthday celebrations, my sister’s wedding, and next week I’ll miss my
first nephew’s birth. That’s heartbreaking to think about, but I can’t let it
control my life or my reasoning for being here. Like I’ve mentioned above, my
life in America will be there once I return. I look forward to it, and meeting
my new nephew, but until then I’ll continue to enjoy my life in Samoa.
In honor of my
one-year anniversary in Samoa, I ate green chile! It was the first time since I
left Santa Fe. My best friend Jimmy and his mother have sent me green chile in
care packages. I’ve been hoarding them for several months, waiting for this
special occasion. I was intending on buying black beans and tortillas in Apia,
to create a burrito, but I forgot to buy those items. So I ate the green chile
with salt & vinegar chips and knock-off Ritz crackers, pretending I was eating
a gourmet New Mexican dish.
 |
| Green chile on a salt & vinegar chip. Oh yeah! |
Here’s to the
next year of my service!
