You have running
water, but wake up 30 minutes early to boil water for a bucket bath. It beats a
freezing shower and the feeling like you’re skinny dipping in Antarctica at 6
a.m.
You go to a
store in your village that has an advertisement for Colgate toothpaste. The
shop owner tells you that they don't sell Colgate, and hands you a brand of
toothpaste you’ve never seen before. The packaging says “Not for sale outside
of Indonesia.” The question is: How did it end up in Samoa?
Your family
sends you a care package consisting of 8 wicking t-shirts and 2 microfiber
towels. What do you do? You immediately put 4 t-shirts and 1 towel into an
airtight bag. Those bad boys will make their debut appearances during your
second year of service, or when the other t-shirts and towel have been
worn/used to death; whichever comes first.
You have a knife
in your hand, slicing up food. An insect flies into you, resulting in the
unfortunate reaction of the knife coming in contact with your other hand.
You go to a
fa’afafine fashion show. Don’t know what a fa’afafine is? Google it.
People are used
to seeing you on the bus, so they no longer offer their seat! Yay!
The bus drivers
know which house is yours, and will drop you off in front of it, without any
signal from you.
You’re given
half a loaf of buttered bread for lunch.
You hang your
trash from the ceiling. It prevents ants and other critters from getting in.
After being away
from your site for 9 days, you return and find that a piece of material holding
up your mosquito net is gone, furthering your suspension that a rat lives in
your thatched ceiling/roof.
Samoans know
more about American Idol, and the contestants, than you do.
Playing
volleyball in your village isn’t a stress reliever. In fact, it gives you
unnecessary stress because the villagers take the game too seriously.
While sorting
out your school’s library, you come across a book of baby names.
You finally find
a website to watch the San Antonio Spurs game online. Unfortunately, there are
ads covering the video. Oh well, at least the audio still works!
You find a crab
in your shower.
You get out of
bed and accidently step on a dead gecko. What a wonderful way to start your
morning.
You find a half
hatched, barely alive gecko on your kitchen floor. The ants finish it off.
There are no
buses because it’s a public holiday. You hitch a ride with 6 different
vehicles, and get to your village in a little over an hour—not too much longer
than a bus ride would’ve taken.
You finish the
entire series of Lost in 3 weeks. That’s right, the entire series.
Crazy rain and
wind scare you into thinking a cyclone is coming. Cyclone Evan scarred you.
Your school’s
principal hands you the national English midterm exam for Year 8. You’re asked
to take the exam. Apparently your answers will serve as the school’s answer
key. Who knows why there’s no answer key in the first place. Here’s to hoping
you answered all 77 questions correctly.
You have to
travel 25 minutes by bus to buy one item that will probably melt before you
even make it back home.
An Egyptian man
comes up you at the wharf. He asks if you’re Egyptian, saying that you look
like his people.
You bought
shampoo 4 months ago, and there’s still 1/3 left in the bottle. The lack of
shampooing is causing your hair to grow like a wildfire.
The Cinco de
Mayo celebration resulted in over 200 mosquito bites all over your body.
You now have
sunspots on your shoulders and back. Just lovely.
You go to iTunes
Top 100 and download a bunch of random music. It helps you feel like you’re not
completely out of the music loop.
You buy a can opener
that takes 20+ minutes to open a can. Frustrated, you ask your American family
to send you a can opener. Several weeks later, a care package arrives with a
can opener inside. The can opener is the same brand as the one you bought in
Samoa. You do a quick comparison, and it turns out that the Samoan can opener
is a knockoff to the American brand you were sent. A knockoff can opener! Who
knew that existed!
Your students
gift you with large oranges. And when I say large, I mean the size of your head
large.
You find gecko
poop everywhere.
You’ve been
asked by countless Samoans if you’re Indian.
You go into the
restroom at the wharf. A woman is sleeping on the floor, using a roll of toilet
paper as a pillow. She wakes when you walk past her, sits up, says “$2 tala,”
and begins unrolling the toilet paper.
Your fellow teachers
always call you “lapoa” (fat).
You buy cheese
for the first time in nearly 9 months! This purchase excites you and is the
highlight of your weekend!
You’re given 13
bananas as a “morning snack.”
You receive a
care package. You eat half of the snacks within a couple of days, and then
hoard the rest of the contents for several months.
*You have a
party at a resort with other PCVs. The following day, two hours away from the
party location, a stranger approaches you. She mentions that she heard about
the party, and wants to hang out with the group.
*You meet a
Marine who says that he’s doing his first non-combat mission in Samoa. You
respond “How cool.” His response: “No, not really. It’s like I’m a f#$!ing
Peace Corps Volunteer.” Hahahahaha.
*These were
accounts told to me by other PCVs. I thought they were funny enough to share.
