You know You’re a Peace Corps Volunteer in Samoa When (Part II)…

You have running water, but wake up 30 minutes early to boil water for a bucket bath. It beats a freezing shower and the feeling like you’re skinny dipping in Antarctica at 6 a.m.

You go to a store in your village that has an advertisement for Colgate toothpaste. The shop owner tells you that they don't sell Colgate, and hands you a brand of toothpaste you’ve never seen before. The packaging says “Not for sale outside of Indonesia.” The question is: How did it end up in Samoa?

Your family sends you a care package consisting of 8 wicking t-shirts and 2 microfiber towels. What do you do? You immediately put 4 t-shirts and 1 towel into an airtight bag. Those bad boys will make their debut appearances during your second year of service, or when the other t-shirts and towel have been worn/used to death; whichever comes first.

You have a knife in your hand, slicing up food. An insect flies into you, resulting in the unfortunate reaction of the knife coming in contact with your other hand.

You go to a fa’afafine fashion show. Don’t know what a fa’afafine is? Google it.

People are used to seeing you on the bus, so they no longer offer their seat! Yay!

The bus drivers know which house is yours, and will drop you off in front of it, without any signal from you.

You’re given half a loaf of buttered bread for lunch.

You hang your trash from the ceiling. It prevents ants and other critters from getting in.

After being away from your site for 9 days, you return and find that a piece of material holding up your mosquito net is gone, furthering your suspension that a rat lives in your thatched ceiling/roof.

Samoans know more about American Idol, and the contestants, than you do.

Playing volleyball in your village isn’t a stress reliever. In fact, it gives you unnecessary stress because the villagers take the game too seriously.

While sorting out your school’s library, you come across a book of baby names.

You finally find a website to watch the San Antonio Spurs game online. Unfortunately, there are ads covering the video. Oh well, at least the audio still works!

You find a crab in your shower.

You get out of bed and accidently step on a dead gecko. What a wonderful way to start your morning.

You find a half hatched, barely alive gecko on your kitchen floor. The ants finish it off.

There are no buses because it’s a public holiday. You hitch a ride with 6 different vehicles, and get to your village in a little over an hour—not too much longer than a bus ride would’ve taken.

You finish the entire series of Lost in 3 weeks. That’s right, the entire series.

Crazy rain and wind scare you into thinking a cyclone is coming. Cyclone Evan scarred you.

Your school’s principal hands you the national English midterm exam for Year 8. You’re asked to take the exam. Apparently your answers will serve as the school’s answer key. Who knows why there’s no answer key in the first place. Here’s to hoping you answered all 77 questions correctly.

You have to travel 25 minutes by bus to buy one item that will probably melt before you even make it back home.

An Egyptian man comes up you at the wharf. He asks if you’re Egyptian, saying that you look like his people.

You bought shampoo 4 months ago, and there’s still 1/3 left in the bottle. The lack of shampooing is causing your hair to grow like a wildfire. 

The Cinco de Mayo celebration resulted in over 200 mosquito bites all over your body.

You now have sunspots on your shoulders and back. Just lovely.

You go to iTunes Top 100 and download a bunch of random music. It helps you feel like you’re not completely out of the music loop.

You buy a can opener that takes 20+ minutes to open a can. Frustrated, you ask your American family to send you a can opener. Several weeks later, a care package arrives with a can opener inside. The can opener is the same brand as the one you bought in Samoa. You do a quick comparison, and it turns out that the Samoan can opener is a knockoff to the American brand you were sent. A knockoff can opener! Who knew that existed!

Your students gift you with large oranges. And when I say large, I mean the size of your head large.

You find gecko poop everywhere.

You’ve been asked by countless Samoans if you’re Indian.

You go into the restroom at the wharf. A woman is sleeping on the floor, using a roll of toilet paper as a pillow. She wakes when you walk past her, sits up, says “$2 tala,” and begins unrolling the toilet paper.  

Your fellow teachers always call you “lapoa” (fat).

You buy cheese for the first time in nearly 9 months! This purchase excites you and is the highlight of your weekend!

You’re given 13 bananas as a “morning snack.”

You receive a care package. You eat half of the snacks within a couple of days, and then hoard the rest of the contents for several months.

*You have a party at a resort with other PCVs. The following day, two hours away from the party location, a stranger approaches you. She mentions that she heard about the party, and wants to hang out with the group.

*You meet a Marine who says that he’s doing his first non-combat mission in Samoa. You respond “How cool.” His response: “No, not really. It’s like I’m a f#$!ing Peace Corps Volunteer.” Hahahahaha.

*These were accounts told to me by other PCVs. I thought they were funny enough to share.

You can read Part I of “You know You’re a Peace Corps Volunteer in Samoa When…” here: http://angelinaaugust.blogspot.com/2013/01/you-know-youre-peace-corps-volunteer-in.html