One Year Down, One Year to Go!

I arrived in Samoa a year ago today. The fact that it’s been 12-months since I’ve seen my family and closest friends, the people who are most important to me, is mind-boggling. The fact that I’ve lived in a foreign country, a tiny country in the middle of the South Pacific Ocean, for 12-months is mind-boggling. But indeed, it’s been 12-months since I stepped out of the plane at Faleolo Airport and stepped into my new life as Peace Corps Volunteer.

The past 12 months have easily been the best thing I’ve ever done because I see myself changing for the better. I’m evolving into a person who doesn’t need much to get by and am appreciative of the things I do have. Sure I complain from time to time (frequent readers of this blog know that), but living in Samoa over the past year has taught me one thing; a very valuable thing: It could always be worse. For example, my first shower experience in Samoa was pure torture. It felt like I was skinny-dipping in Antarctica, and my only reaction was to scream obscenities. I was so loud that my roommate Michelle could hear me. This is something we laugh about today, but at the time I was not a happy camper. From that moment on, freezing cold showers have been a part of my daily routine, and I’ve adapted. In the mornings, the showers are usually freezing (I no longer feel the need to scream), but in the afternoons, when I’m dripping in sweat, the cold water feels amazing. Don’t get me wrong, I still love hot water showers, and am in heaven when I’m somewhere that has hot water, such as Apia hotels and the Peace Corps office, but I’ve learned to live without hot water. So how could my shower situation be worse? I could be living in a home that doesn’t have running water. When I first moved into my new village, the water supply was shut off for nearly the entire village, except for the pastor’s house, my neighbor’s house, and my host family’s house. The reason why the water was shut off is because of unpaid water bills. I’ve never realized how precious water is until I moved to Samoa, when I experienced life without running water during Cyclone Evan and the aftermath, or when the primary school I teach at didn’t have water for a couple of weeks, or when I see my neighbors carrying buckets of water. I came into the Peace Corps with the expectation that I wouldn’t have running water, but I do have running water, which is a blessing.

Electricity is another amenity I took for granted before Samoa. For as long as I can remember, my father would always tell my sisters and me to “conserve energy.” I know, it seems simple: if you’re leaving a room, then turn off the lights, but living every single day of my life with electricity resulted in taking advantage of it because I knew I would always have it. Even when I was living on my own in college, and had to pay my electric bill, I still took electricity for granted. Living in Samoa changed that. Once again, Cyclone Evan was the first time in my life where I didn’t have electricity for a long period of time. Since then, there have been times that the electricity has shut off for several hours, or the cash power (pre-paid electricity) runs out, and at that moment I hold my breath thinking, “Oh goodness, I wonder when the power will turn on? Is my phone battery charged? Etc.” So how could this be worse? Instead of going hours without electricity from time-to-time, my daily life could be without electricity, in which I would have to rely on the light from the sun or from a candle. Once again, I came into Peace Corps with the expectation that I wouldn’t have electricity, but I do have electricity, which is another blessing. It’s a blessing because I’m able to plug in my electric fan and cool down, I can use my bedroom light to stay up late at night reading or writing, and most importantly, having electricity enables me to charge my electronics. This means I can communicate with the outside world AND watch unlimited amounts of movies and TV series on my laptop! This alone makes me feel like the luckiest PCV in the world.

What else have I learned over the past year?

*Living in Samoa has made me realize that Americans are spoiled. Don’t get me wrong, being spoiled isn’t necessarily a bad thing, nor does it mean that people are bad. But from an outsider looking in (mostly through Facebook), Americans have so much, some may even say too much, yet don’t always appreciate it and can find the smallest things to complain about.

A perfect, hilarious example of how complaints sound to PCVs

When I was living in America, I was guilty of this, and like I’ve mentioned above, I do complain from time to time, but I hope to break this over the second half of my Peace Corps service. One thing is certain: When I move back to America, I will NEVER complain about having to do laundry. Ever. The washing machine and drying machine are two of the greatest inventions of all time. I look forward to the day when washing laundry consists of opening the washing machine lid, adding soap and fabric softener, putting my clothes inside, and letting the machine do all the work. And then there’s a drying machine that will dry my clothes in less than an hour, leaving them mold-free! Oh the glory! But until then, I will spend the next year of my life bucket washing my clothes and hanging them out to dry, taking about 1.5-2 hours out my day, in addition to taking several hours, if not days, to dry.

*I’m not here to change Samoans. I think a lot of people join the Peace Corps with ideals that they are going to change the world and change their host country nationals’ lives and/or ways of living. I’ve realized that Samoans are happy people (they’ll laugh your ears off) and are content with their living conditions. They’re not dying from malaria or starvation. In fact, they have an abundant supply of taro (similar to a potato), bananas, mangoes, papaya, carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, coconuts, and are excellent fishermen.

I’ve learned that many Samoans concentrate only on the present time. My neighbors are the perfect example of this. They sell donuts, delicious donuts I must add, for bingo on Thursday nights. Every Thursday I ask my host sister Eseta if there will be donuts for sale. On several occasions she has told me: “No, the family didn’t have money to buy the flour.” Other times I hear that the family didn’t have money for sugar. In my mind I’m thinking, “Okay, why didn’t they put away $20WST (or whatever the cost may be) of their earnings from last week so that they can buy the ingredients needed, which will result in a profit to be made?” This goes back to my point being that many Samoans live for today, and only today. To the average American, this may be frustrating. I’m starting to see it as a beautiful thing, relating it to the old proverb: Why worry about tomorrow? For tomorrow may never come. Americans stress out when they think about the future; often times looking past the present moment they’re in. I realize that living day-by-day won’t be realistic once I return to America, but I’ll remember to take time and enjoy the present moment. And I apologize if I’ve offended anyone. That’s not my intention. I’m not saying that living day-by-day is a bad thing. Also, I’m not generalizing all Samoans as this way, but as an outsider looking into village-life, it’s how I’ve observed a majority of the villagers. Like I’ve mentioned above, I think it’s great that Samoans live in the present.

So you may be wondering: If you’re not there to change Samoans, then why are you there? Good question. I’m here for my students. In the short time I’ve worked with them, I’ve seen a vast improvement in their English education. In addition to their academia, I’m in Samoa to be a positive influence in my students’ lives. I want to be a safe haven for them. I want to be someone who they can laugh with (and many times at), and feel comfortable to be around. The children are the future of this country, and if I can make a difference in at least one child, then my purpose is complete.

*This life isn’t forever. One of my first blogs in this country is titled “One Week Down, Only 114 to Go!” I wrote it to be humorous because come on, 114 weeks seems like an eternity away. But it isn’t. Before I know it, I’ll be back in America, probably missing the simple Samoan life.

Life in Samoa isn’t bad. By American standards, I’m living below the poverty level. I didn’t join the Peace Corps to live in luxury or become rich, but I’m fine with my living conditions and the monthly allowance I earn. I can shower daily, and I make more than enough money to buy myself food, buy my host family food, pay for my phone and internet, and go out in Apia or to resorts. Plus I have no bills and no responsibilities! I don’t have to pay rent and Peace Corps pays for my electricity. Yes, the la-la-land that I’m in will end eventually, and I’ll be thrown back into the real world, with real bills. But until then, I’m going to enjoy my time here.

During PST, we were given a chart titled the “Cycle of Vulnerability and Adjustment.” It talks about the emotional state of PCVs during their two years of service. According to the chart, right now I’m in what is called the “Mid-Service Crisis,” which is a low point in a volunteer’s service. This low is supposed to happen between 12-14 months of service. Madi, a fellow PCV, and I were talking about this, and we aren’t feeling low at all. Yes, we still have two months in this “low” category, but honestly I don’t think I’m going to feel the mid-service blues. Why? Because like I wrote above, this life isn’t forever. So instead of complaining about everything that is bad about this country, I’ve learned to enjoy it because my island-life will be over next year. And also, I’m here because I want to be. No one is forcing me to be here. In fact, I fought to be here when I thought I was going to get sent back to America. Maybe that’s why I’m not experiencing a mid-service crisis because Samoa is where I want to be. I miss America terribly, and miss my family and friends even more, but America and my family and friends will be there next year. Samoa is a once in a lifetime experience, and after next year, who knows when I’ll return, if ever. So right now, Samoa is my focus.

*I’ve made life-long friends. I didn’t join the Peace Corps to make friends, but somewhere over the year I’ve been here, I’ve created bonds with people that will last a lifetime. Madi and I are already talking about taking a COS (Close of Service) trip together around SE Asia, or taking a Round the World trip I’ve mentioned in a previous blog, and bringing in New Year’s 2015 together in Las Vegas. There have been talks of my group, Group 84, meeting up in Southern California for Coachella 2015. It’s funny to think that we still have a year to make memories together, yet we’re already talking about making memories after Samoa. I know, I know, it contradicts what I wrote above, about living in the present. Believe me, I am living in the present, but—planning for the future is nice, too, especially when it’s for leisure. When I was in Savai’i last week, Madi and I were talking about how hard it is to tell people goodbye. She referred to it as “closing a chapter.” Thinking about having to tell my goodbyes to those I care about in this country got me extremely sad, and made me tear up. I know it’s silly because I still have a year to go, but that moment verified that these people mean the world to me. I’m happy we get to share this experience together, over the next year.

My final thoughts: Samoa is changing me into a better person. But it’s not changing me into a different person. If you know me personally, then you know that I love to have fun. And on my spare time, I’m having a blast here. I think that’s one of the reasons why I’m not experiencing the volunteer-blues because I do what makes me happy. Don’t get me wrong, there have been three occasions when I’ve felt extremely homesick. The first time was during Cyclone Evan, when I was stuck in my hotel room, feeling like I was condemned for all eternity. The second and third time relate to my unhappy situation in Savai’i, which resulted in me nearly getting sent back to America. Those were some of the saddest times in my life. And then there’s the thought that life hasn’t stopped in America. In the short time I’ve been here, I’ve missed birthday celebrations, my sister’s wedding, and next week I’ll miss my first nephew’s birth. That’s heartbreaking to think about, but I can’t let it control my life or my reasoning for being here. Like I’ve mentioned above, my life in America will be there once I return. I look forward to it, and meeting my new nephew, but until then I’ll continue to enjoy my life in Samoa.

In honor of my one-year anniversary in Samoa, I ate green chile! It was the first time since I left Santa Fe. My best friend Jimmy and his mother have sent me green chile in care packages. I’ve been hoarding them for several months, waiting for this special occasion. I was intending on buying black beans and tortillas in Apia, to create a burrito, but I forgot to buy those items. So I ate the green chile with salt & vinegar chips and knock-off Ritz crackers, pretending I was eating a gourmet New Mexican dish.

Green chile on a salt & vinegar chip. Oh yeah!

Here’s to the next year of my service!