You wake up to find that the end of your right eyebrow is missing. The conclusion? The ants ate your eyebrow. Always blame the ants. Those little bastards will eat anything.
Males have no problem wearing your lavalava (a lavalava is a piece of material that is wrapped around the waist, like a skirt).
People go through your trash and reuse the contents. Privacy is non-existent in this country.
You meet a man who claims to be the prince of 5 Samoan islands.
A crab is walking around your room in the middle of the night. Instead of putting it outside, and waking everyone up, you kill it with insect spray. I know, I know, I feel bad about it now.
Your bus breaks down, making your travel day 14 hours long.
You own a yogurt maker, which is something you didn’t own in America.
While eating fish, you push its intestines and internal organs to the side of the plate. What happens next? Someone reaches over, grabs the pile of guts from you plate, and puts it into their mouth.
You were kind the night before, sharing all your alcohol and mixers. The problem is, you’re on a remote island that doesn’t sell alcohol. So what do you do? A fellow PCV and you take a boat to the main island, hitchhike to a nearby resort, buy enough beer and mixers to fill up three large bags, and take a taxi to the boat dock to get transported back to the small island. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the ultimate beer run.
While meeting with the tattoo artist, you explain what you want done, drawing a kindergarten-type design on a piece of paper. He doesn’t sketch the tattoo, only saying “okay,” and starts the traditional tattoo. It’s basically freehand on the body, which is a bit scary to think about.
A fly flies into your mouth. You quickly try to spit it out, but don’t think you’ve succeeded.
While at a resort, you have a mini dougie dance off with an 8-year-old Samoan girl.
You’re obsessed with hot cheetos and get so excited when you find them in Apia. So what do you do? You eat several bags in one week, basically cancelling out a month's worth of workouts.
The heavy rainfall caused a leaky ceiling in your bedroom. The only option is emptying out your food bucket and placing it onto your bed. You sleep with the bucket on your bed for several days. Beats a wet bed.
During your 2.5-hour traditional tattoo, all you could think about is how this is the most painful experience of your life (the tools stuck to your ribs and spine) and you don’t think childbirth could be any worse.
You turn on your MacBook to find a light blue strip on the screen. Since then, the strip has turned lime green and is currently yellow. You hope and pray that the computer lasts your final months of Peace Corps service.
You download a countdown app. What is the first countdown you put in? The date and time your flight leaves Samoa. Yes, my flight has been booked! Just 179 days, 10 hours, 31 minutes, 07 seconds to go. But who’s counting?
The heavy rainfall has caused the water pipes to break. This means your new shower is a bucket.
Facebook has become your news headquarter. If it weren’t for Facebook, you’d be out of the loop with all worldwide events.
You hardly drink soda, but you get a craving for one. After a sip, your urge is fulfilled so you pass the can to your neighbor sitting next to you.
You go out in flip-flops. This is something you’d never do in America. Ever.
A guy who is trying to flirt with you asks, “So do you have a wife?” Your response: “Yes, yes I do have a wife.” Ha.
Strangers see you holding a large poster and have no problem asking to see the front of it. I tell ya, privacy is nonexistent.
You’re shopping at a thrift store and ask the worker where the fitting room is located. Her response, “There’s no fitting room in the store, so go to the corner and try on the clothes.” That’s exactly what you do. And no fitting room means there isn’t a mirror so you take videos and photos of yourself on your phone, to see how the outfit looks on.
At a different store, the fitting room is a storage closet. It’s impossible to close the door, so you’re left trying on clothing in the open, with people walking in and out the entire time.
Your day is made because a young boy tells you that you look like a beautiful princess. It leaves a smile on your face when you realize that that is one of the sweetest compliments you’ve ever received.
After hanging out with friends all night, you go to McDonalds at 7:30 am, quickly becoming disappointed that you can’t get a hamburger at that hour because the breakfast menu is all that’s available.
The bus gets so full that you end up sitting on a stranger’s lap for two hours. You feel bad about hurting the person so you squat the entire ride into town. Painful, but a great thigh workout!
It’s time for your friend to leave Samoa. This leaves you really sad, and you get even sadder when you realize that your remaining time will be full of goodbyes to people you’ll most likely never see again.
You ask your family in America to send you photos of the delicious food they’re eating.
You have an interesting dream about your hamster Misty who has been dead for 3 years. In your dream she was alive and well.
While sleeping, you feel something crawling next to you. You feel its shell while pushing it away. Before it runs off, your shine your phone’s light on it, discovering that it’s a LARGE cockroach.
Your friends adopted a puppy that frequently sleeps with you. You don't care that she has ticks.
Your friends weren’t sure you were coming over after all, so they went to sleep. You had no luck reaching them on the phone and didn’t want to knock on the door and wake everyone up. So what do you do? Sleep on the bench outside. The puppy kept you company and the cool air and rain made the situation enjoyable. You’re surprised the mosquitoes didn’t murder you.
Many Samoans, including strangers have asked how much your tattoo cost. The truth will never be revealed.
You’d rather go on the expensive district bus because that means you won’t have to sit on anyone’s lap.
Your umbrella breaks after fighting off a pack of 5 vicious dogs.
Your Samoan name has become the norm. Hearing your real (American) name sounds so odd.
Strangers have no problem zipping up a falling zipper on your outfit.
You witness two young boys carrying a screaming pig that clearly knows its fate. You hope that the pig isn’t your lunch that day because you won’t be able to eat it.
The rain and wind is strong that it destroys your umbrella.
It’s your birthday so you go to a nearby resort for lunch and a jug of Piña Coladas, getting drunk by yourself on the beach. What an excellent way to celebrate a new year of life!
Your friends have a house party. Any guesses on what was stolen? If you guessed razors from the shower, then *ding, ding, ding* you are correct.
Some of your friends think you’re crazy because you take Samoan food to the beach. Taro with palusami is so delicious!
You go 36 hours without sleep because you thought it was a good idea to get on the bus at 2:30 am, so that you could get on the 6 am boat from Savai’i to Upolu.
While waiting for the bus to arrive at 2:30 am, the barking dogs make you regret your decision to catch the first bus because you fear you’ll get attacked.
Your friend is traveling out of the country and asks if you need anything. You ask him to bring you and a fellow PCV Taco Bell. Well, Taco Bell wasn’t available, but he still brings tacos and burritos from another fast food restaurant. You eat the food one week after it was purchased. Internationally traveled, Date Line hopping fast food is still delicious after a week… and we didn’t get sick! Thank you preservatives and Samoa for making our systems like steel!
Your hair has grown 6 inches since you cut it in America in January. Washing it once a week has really paid off.
The word “hate” is used loosely here, resulting in you to regularly use the word. Once you’re back in America, you hope to break this nasty habit.
Your new favorite word is “tragedy.” Example: “The bus is running really late so I’m going to miss some of the game. This is a tragedy!”
Your new favorite phrase: "The possibilities are endless." The possibilities are always endless!
You have no idea why or how you picked up these phrases.
A majority of your friends with cars are males, resulting in the villagers to think that you have several boyfriends.
Your refrigerator keeps getting unplugged; so one morning you take it upon yourself (and find the strength) to move the 4-foot object into your room.
Your classroom is infested with bees and wasps.
The bus is so full that a stranger hands you their newborn baby to hold.
The ants have eaten through one of your shoes; the shoe is now in two pieces!
Your toenail falls off for no apparent reason.
Your arms develop white spots all over them.
Your nickname is Sandy because sand seems to get all over you at the beach.
You love referring to yourself in the third person.
It makes you happy that your friends in America still harass you about being a San Antonio Spurs fan! Go Spurs Go!
The humidity has caused all your photos to curl on the ends.
While going to the front of the church for communion, your host mother grabs a hat off of the closest person’s head, placing the hat onto your head. You’re thankful you haven’t been infected with head lice.
Your host family is adding flooring throughout the house. This means you'll have to move every single object out of your room. You take the opportunity to start throwing items away so it’s less to do when you move out permanently at the end of the year. It also gives you anxiety about packing and leaving Samoa forever.
To upload this post, you saved the file as a PDF on your computer, transferred it to your phone, opened the file on Adobe Reader, opened your web browser, copied and paste ever single page onto blogger.com, and fixed the spacing. Sheesh!
To read Part I & II, click here: http://angelinaaugust.blogspot.com/2013/06/you-know-youre-peace-corps-volunteer-in.html?m=1
My next post will be about my traditional Samoan tattoo, loaded with photos and possibly a video of the process. Look out for it in the coming weeks!
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